tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10890885.post111627462422921280..comments2023-10-20T09:43:39.318-04:00Comments on Frumpter: Go in my place.Zoe Strickmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07940789852735669214noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10890885.post-1116441728682332722005-05-18T14:42:00.000-04:002005-05-18T14:42:00.000-04:00Whoa, this is intense. Two strong points of view ...Whoa, this is intense. Two strong points of view saying the same thing. I will take your advice, and I will find my strength within such a scary experience of possibly meeting someone that could become a wife. I will resolve not to be a milquetoast (good word), and I will work my hardest at being real and authentic. Let's see if we will stand side by side.Zoe Strickmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07940789852735669214noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10890885.post-1116440584480011152005-05-18T14:23:00.000-04:002005-05-18T14:23:00.000-04:00I agree with Daphnewood here. From reading your p...I agree with Daphnewood here. From reading your post I immediately sensed that you are perhaps yourself repressing? I think she'd enjoy seeing a more "emotional" side of you without reasoning and logic. I know where my husband is concerned (a very intelligent and logically minded fellow) my largest complaint would be that a) there's no spark there b) if it doesn't make sense, he won't do it. What I mean is, he lacks passion, desire, fire, raw emotion. I think maybe (and this is only from my perspective obviously) the girl would enjoy seeing there's more to you than religion and that you can love her as a man as well. I know that is something that worried me when I got the "jitters". Also, yeah, it is a big deal for a woman to think she's losing her identity, perhaps she thinks you will change her way of life?Rowanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01446435491941733971noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10890885.post-1116302643375279202005-05-17T00:04:00.000-04:002005-05-17T00:04:00.000-04:00I don't know. I think you should show her your da...I don't know. I think you should show her your dark side. After all, it is part of you. The honeymoon doesn't last forever. I personally liked to see a bit of the bad boy in my husband. It is exciting and I cannot explain why. Maybe because he seems more human. I honestly can't say. I do know that I love that my husband (usually) values my opinions and dreams but I also like that he is not a follower. I can count on him to lead when I am unwilling or unable. He can count on me for the same. That's it! A milquetoast. I don't like men who act like a milquetoast. <BR/><BR/>Anyway, I have no idea what is going through the mind of your angel, Mr. Strickman. Perhaps she is afraid she will lose herself with a union. I had fears when I got married that "Daphnewood" would disappear completely but silly me couldn't see that was who my husband wanted all along. The only thing he wanted to change about me was my last name. I wish you all the best. You deserve a spot of sunshine.<BR/><BR/>much love,<BR/>Daphnewood<BR/><BR/>p.s. Zoe, remember to just have fun!Daphnewoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07031895782046396168noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10890885.post-1116290685496068302005-05-16T20:44:00.000-04:002005-05-16T20:44:00.000-04:00Ok. Fair enough. Good luck again!JMOOk. Fair enough. Good luck again!<BR/><BR/>JMOAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10890885.post-1116286318861262372005-05-16T19:31:00.000-04:002005-05-16T19:31:00.000-04:00JMO - For stalling you by five minutes, it was my ...JMO - For stalling you by five minutes, it was my pleasure. I realize that even a one second difference in timing can change the world, so multiply that by 400 and see what an effect I had on your world. We will never know.<BR/><BR/>To clarify, you read into my message with your intuition but not your eyes. I think the value of our meeting is 1) to clarify a) what are the boundaries of how she is willing to live, b) what the outer limits of those boundaries are, and c) whether they are flexible. I will take the role of a film developer to develop the picture she creates of her in ten years and to see what is contained within.<BR/><BR/>Where your intuition kicked and not your eyes was in your insertion of words between the lines that were not there. To my error of improperly communicating the thought, the mention of giving her a taste of the fire and winds that are hidden within my personality is meant to lend to her secular side someone to "connect" to. She has not seen that side of me, and therefore she might not have realized that it is there while in fact it is strong both in her and in me. <BR/><BR/>[There was no hint or indication of revenge or wanting to get back at anyone.] Touche' on the 5 minutes.Zoe Strickmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07940789852735669214noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10890885.post-1116275782239595062005-05-16T16:36:00.000-04:002005-05-16T16:36:00.000-04:00Just be yourself. Don't try to get back at her or ...Just be yourself. Don't try to get back at her or anything. She might have genuinely completely misunderstood what being religious is and felt that she can never live with such a person. She probably broke up because she saw you liked her but she felt that she couldn't continue. Therefore, she didn't want to continue fooling you, and herself, and so broke it off. <BR/><BR/>If it comes up, try explaining to her what religiousity is all about (that you can enjoy music just like a steak and that, in fact, a nazir has to bring a korbon for denying himself G-d's world) and see what her reaction is. Maybe she can handle it. Maybe she can't. <BR/><BR/>You can be a bit more cautious and reserved but don't try to get revenge. Otherwise, why go out at all?<BR/><BR/>Anyways, best of luck to you and whatever happens, it's all for the best even if we can't see it right away. <BR/><BR/>(By the way, in terms of hashgocho pratis...There are a million reasons why things can be for the best and so that's why I give up trying to figure out how and just rely that it is. For instance, this article you wrote inspired me to write this comment, taking up 5 minutes of my time. Who knows who I will now bump into in the street who I wouldn't have if I had not spent this time writing this comment. That person might put me in a good mood inspiring me to.....or the opposite. The same goes for you reading this comment etc. etc. etc. That's why I just trust it's all for the good and quit figuring out why. Of course it's better when it's more obvious.)<BR/><BR/>Alright, enough of the rambling. Good luck!!!!<BR/><BR/>JMOAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com