tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10890885.post112248594232438943..comments2023-10-20T09:43:39.318-04:00Comments on Frumpter: Bilam's warning about squandering sexual energy through pre-marital sex, non-observance of laws of niddah, and masteurbation.Zoe Strickmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07940789852735669214noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10890885.post-1155003181518741062006-08-07T22:13:00.000-04:002006-08-07T22:13:00.000-04:00Sex is a powerful force in our lives and you under...Sex is a powerful force in our lives and you understand that. Sex can be harmful, and sex can also be healing. It is true- intermarriage harms the jewish people because it lessens their numbers- that's it. <BR/><BR/>personally, I don't believe that the will of the many supersede the individual's will and needs. That was the old communist way, and that is the religious doctrine, but you know what? people come first. A Jew can choose to honor and love and respect whomever s/he wishes even at the expense of religion.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10890885.post-1122753487022247692005-07-30T15:58:00.000-04:002005-07-30T15:58:00.000-04:00I agree with you and applaud your own personal sel...I agree with you and applaud your own personal self control. May your gevura (strength) continue and may you reap a reward of happiness and fulfillment in a future relationship.<BR/><BR/>A few comments.<BR/><BR/>First of all, I think that succumbing to sexual temptations is a major problem for gentiles as well as Jews today. This isn't to detract from your well taken point about Bilam's blessings relating specifically to the Jewish people. But I just wanted to point out that the problem of sexual immorality is not specifically a Jewish problem. <BR/><BR/>Regarding conversion for love, I think that the minhag today is to accept converts for love. In fact some batei dinim even prefer this type of conversion since there is a better chance to root the new convert into a Jewish way of life if they are part of a Jewish family.<BR/><BR/>I think righteous converts reading this blog might be offended by your comment. Having said that, I agree that it's wrong for a Jew to date gentiles with the idea of requiring conversion if it leads to marriage. There are so many wonderful Jewish women who need husbands! They are loosing out.<BR/><BR/>And one more thing. Your reference to Kundalini is strange. Is that one of the ideas behind the Niddah laws? Is it some kind of eastern asceticism? That's not at all obvious to me.Web Log Authorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04356968119238798036noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10890885.post-1122601572111257702005-07-28T21:46:00.000-04:002005-07-28T21:46:00.000-04:00Some of this goes beyond the pale. I am not a fan ...Some of this goes beyond the pale. I am not a fan of being shomer negiah. I don't see it as being helpful and in some cases I think that it can be harmful.<BR/><BR/>All things in moderation.Jack Steinerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16625864271071630940noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10890885.post-1122600111807291382005-07-28T21:21:00.000-04:002005-07-28T21:21:00.000-04:00Rowan, think about it. If the Old Testament gives...Rowan, think about it. If the Old Testament gives a strict prohibition that Jews aren't supposed to marry non-Jews, and you accept that as true based on faith of accepting the whole Torah for what it is, not understanding the reasoning of most of it, wouldn't you find it offensive if men practiced their sexual abilities on you only to use you and to leave you for a Jewish woman when the time comes to get married?<BR/><BR/>There is nothing wrong with non-Jewish women, except that Jewish men are not allowed to marry non-Jewish women. It's nothing complex.<BR/><BR/>Hitler <I>(may his name be erased from history)</I> had the right idea when he thought that Jews were a race, rather than just members of an organized religion. Anyone who had Jewish "blood," whether they practiced Judaism or not were considered Jewish. There is a whole structure of Jewish lineage moving through the mother's line. The Torah states that a Jewish woman will have a Jewish child, regardless of whether the husband is Jewish or whether the child will be raised Jewish. A non-Jewish woman who mates with a Jewish male will have non-Jewish children, even if they are raised Jewish.Zoe Strickmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07940789852735669214noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10890885.post-1122576703095774562005-07-28T14:51:00.000-04:002005-07-28T14:51:00.000-04:00I've enjoyed most of what you've taught me of the ...I've enjoyed most of what you've taught me of the Jewish faith, but this is as wrong as I feel about the Catholic faith condemning all women as being drawn into temptation, and thereby, tempting man. Secondly, the more disturbing is that this taken into an orthadox/fundamental meaning scares me! This is so biggotted and narrow minded! I agree, there should be limits to who you have sex with, no doubt, hopefully only with your wife. but, the way you are describing "non-jewish" women is the way some people would seggregate blacks, whites, yellows, reds, (pink, blue, green) doesn't matter. Your religion, though should be similar in order to have a healthy and prosperous marriage I agree, I don't think interfaith is evil. My husband and I are interfaith. In the end, I think similar thoughts on what goodness equates is what matters. <BR/>Please, don't take this the wrong way, I mean it in the best of ways, but I have a hard time understanding how such an intelligent man, could be so cruel and race important. Do you think it is not a two way street? Do you think Hitler's way of thinking couldn't go the other way? With thoughts of how non-jewish people are somehow secluded from you worries me. Is this not how Middle Eastern people are viewing us Westerners? This is how wars are started! I choose to ignore this sad part of your faith. I also believe that someone could convert if as you said before, only in faith (not race) but I don't think the race part should matter in these dark times anyhow. I hope to find you are more openminded, I had always thought you were, even towards your religion. you are a thinker. Please think of how wrong this seems. If I am misunderstanding (which I hope I am) please forgive me and explain. I just find it so inhuman. My religion teaches that as long as others are holy (follow God's teachings and do not indulge in evil) they are accepted as part of the world's holy fellowship.Rowanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01446435491941733971noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10890885.post-1122565361202132672005-07-28T11:42:00.000-04:002005-07-28T11:42:00.000-04:00I reread it. I don't find it offensive any longer...I reread it. I don't find it offensive any longer; thank you for making the changes cause you have interesting thoughts to impart.<BR/><BR/>I can't really comment on the topic otherwise, having NOT been in your shoes (your sexual history, the fact that you are male). I do find your personal reflections and processes on this fascinating and thought provoking. I also imagine it is devastatingly lonely for you and a kind of deprivation that is sorely felt.You would have to be incredibly strong in your faith.Barefoot Jewesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10314662288895645809noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10890885.post-1122555024821805032005-07-28T08:50:00.000-04:002005-07-28T08:50:00.000-04:00"We are close to counting 1,200 days of no sex, no..."We are close to counting 1,200 days of no sex, no touching, and no intimacy"<BR/><BR/>I applaud you and wish you chazak ve-ametz, really. But do you know that I went 9000 days with "no sex, no touching, no intimacy"? Okay, shave off half of that, if you like, for pre-adolescence. Going 25, 30, 35, 40 years--or a lifetime--without sexual intimacy of any kind (except for your own trusty hand, and then feeling like lightning should strike you dead for it) is an enormously difficult and unnatural proposition. I understand your passion and commitment, but in this instance compassion as well as passion is called for.<BR/><BR/>Good luck with your struggle and please accept my blessing that you and everyone in Yisrael who struggles with this find the resolution they need soon.Mississippi Fred MacDowellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02734864605700159687noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10890885.post-1122529818239483632005-07-28T01:50:00.000-04:002005-07-28T01:50:00.000-04:00Barefoot Jewess, your comment about rachamim has b...Barefoot Jewess, your comment about rachamim has been noted. I even went back into the post and took out some angry words to calm the language a bit.<BR/><BR/>Anonymous, I don't know if you realize, but I've been as celibate as one can get since I've been frum. I mean, no touching, no massages, no dances, no hooking up, no sex, nada. Coming from a place where before I was frum I lived a normal, secularly *clears throat* healthy sex life, I know what it means to be intimate, and I know what it means to indulge. I also know what it means not to indulge, as I have been practicing that with frustration every day of my frum life. We are close to counting 1,200 days of no sex, no touching, and no intimacy. I believe that gives me the privilege to say and write what I have said because I live it every day. Anonymous, I write about life in MY shoes, because MY shoes ARE THEIR shoes. <BR/><BR/>However, if you are defending the apparently religious guys who break Torah and have adulterous sex with other women while they are MARRIED with their wives in NIDDAH in their homes while they go satisfy their temptations, in those shoes I will NEVER walk.<BR/><BR/>I have read Nice Jewish Girl's blog on many occasions, and I have even commented on it on a few posts. Her situation scares me because I am not too many years behind her and I am single too. She grew up frum, and I grew up anti-frum. I feel terrible that she has never been kissed, and I wish her the best. I admire her dearly. It's a shame she's not writing frequently any more.<BR/><BR/>In short, I am very surprised I am getting such resistance from this message. I meant it to be spiritual and enlightening; a kick in the butt and a dose of truth. I was actually writing the post more for me than for all of you because as you know, I think about my chosen state of shomer negiah (abstinence) almost every day. I am highly lonely and I am seriously frustrated. I ask Hashem (G-d) that this loneliness stop and that one day I get rewarded for abstaining from girlfriends, touching, and sex.<BR/><BR/>Despite what I have complained about in past blog entries, I am still shomer negiah although I can't say for a nanosecond that I enjoy it. <BR/><BR/>I hope you are able to see past any perceived pontifications to realize that I am a simple guy trying to understand why Torah has forced me to be estranged from intimate experiences with women (even with one girlfriend) and why I have taken this prohibition on, as it is my strongest desire.Zoe Strickmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07940789852735669214noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10890885.post-1122523131114339422005-07-27T23:58:00.000-04:002005-07-27T23:58:00.000-04:00I agree with both commentators. I kinda spaced ou...I agree with both commentators. I kinda spaced out after "Jewish scum". I think that is unfair and a no- win situation. I agree with anonymous that until you as a more conscious Jew, walk a mile in another's shoes, should not preach. <BR/><BR/>I really love your passion for this. But it might help to relate it only to yourself and your own struggles. Perhaps more <I>rachamim</I> is in order. I have discovered over time that all those urges are within me and sometimes they are difficult to recognise and/or deal with. I find myself, in my more honest moments, to be unable to judge.Barefoot Jewesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10314662288895645809noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10890885.post-1122509372260473952005-07-27T20:09:00.000-04:002005-07-27T20:09:00.000-04:00You.Have got.To be kidding me.You attack fellow Je...You.<BR/>Have got.<BR/>To be kidding me.<BR/><BR/>You attack fellow Jews, call them horrible names, preech from your soapbox how the world is supposed to work.<BR/><BR/>Yet you say nothing about the suffering of these same Jews who, for one reason or another, cannot get married, cannot get a shiduch, cannot find their soulmate.<BR/><BR/>Go look up this: website:http://www.shomernegiah.<BR/>blogspot.com/<BR/><BR/>And please, stop your arrogant, self-indulging speeches. Until you walk a mile in THEIR shoes, don't be calling them loathsome names.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10890885.post-1122498706005170912005-07-27T17:11:00.000-04:002005-07-27T17:11:00.000-04:00I agree with you 100% on all accounts; I should ha...I agree with you 100% on all accounts; I should have been clearer before using a term which can be misunderstood. Sorry for that. <B>"Niddah whores"</B> are rumoured to be non-jewish girls who have sex with men for money while their wives are having their period. I hear this happens in Borough Park and in various other communities, however, I sincerely hope this is a rumour [the whores, not women having their period].Zoe Strickmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07940789852735669214noreply@blogger.com