tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10890885.post112445591161127789..comments2023-10-20T09:43:39.318-04:00Comments on Frumpter: "Chosson will be forbidden to the Callah in the Yichud Room."Zoe Strickmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07940789852735669214noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10890885.post-45763843189030615702006-12-20T09:58:00.000-05:002006-12-20T09:58:00.000-05:00This is like BlogginHora, wish your friends Simcha...This is like BlogginHora, wish your friends Simchas, Nachas, and the best warmest and pure wishes from your heart.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10890885.post-1124759905568512502005-08-22T21:18:00.000-04:002005-08-22T21:18:00.000-04:00Dude, it's their wedding, their way. Let is go. No...Dude, it's their wedding, their way. Let is go. No one likes a lecture, espcially such a self rightous one. No wonder he stopped asking for your advice.<BR/>It's an odd way to show that you care.Lysshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17772991974064492182noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10890885.post-1124476242290643612005-08-19T14:30:00.000-04:002005-08-19T14:30:00.000-04:00Anonymous, I did have you mixed up with another an...Anonymous, I did have you mixed up with another anonymous blogger who has been annoying me about minhagim lately. I confess that your words "so called" made me think you were him. Sorry. (How's that for a warm welcome to my site?)Zoe Strickmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07940789852735669214noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10890885.post-1124476069501508102005-08-19T14:27:00.000-04:002005-08-19T14:27:00.000-04:00I didn't realize it was so complex. I did what I c...I didn't realize it was so complex. I did what I could by having multiple "mikveh talks" a few months back. This e-mail was kind of a last stand. Now I wish I hadn't said anything because I might have made matters worse since now she can't go. Beforehand, she wouldn't go. -ZoeZoe Strickmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07940789852735669214noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10890885.post-1124476003449469732005-08-19T14:26:00.000-04:002005-08-19T14:26:00.000-04:00Wow! Where did that scathing attack come from, Zoe...Wow! Where did that scathing attack come from, Zoe? I think you have me mixed up with another anon.<BR/><BR/>Firstly, who said I was opposed to minhagim? I am opposed to phony minhagim which have no real basis whatsoever (and in fact probably derive from goyish customs). Many minhagim are beautiful expressions of Jews' desire to serve G-d faithfully, based in our established law. <BR/><BR/>But I certainly never implied (2) that one should do the minimum required by halacha. Nor did I ever express (3) a "slithering hatred" for those frummer than me. And I don't get a blog (4) because I rarely comment on them; in fact today was my first comment on your site.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10890885.post-1124471848650049952005-08-19T13:17:00.000-04:002005-08-19T13:17:00.000-04:00I should say, won't make her tahor al pi the highe...I should say, won't make her tahor al pi the highest standard of halacha... there are women who do things this way, and we don't bar them from mikvah usage... better something than nothing! But your point seemed to be that you were trying to make it kosher to your standards, and at your level of observance, that wouldn't have done it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10890885.post-1124471673264804542005-08-19T13:14:00.000-04:002005-08-19T13:14:00.000-04:00Zoe, the custom of separating (ie not seeing each ...Zoe, the custom of separating (ie not seeing each other) the week or so before marriage is tied up in mikvah usage, so if they're skipping the latter, there's little point in observing the former. <BR/><BR/>Basically it's from the time she makes a hefsek taharah (confirmation of succession of bleeding) 7 days before going to mikvah, and barring that, it's from the time she actually goes... the point being that they don't come to "sin" while she's already tahor (pure) for the wedding but not actually married to him yet.<BR/><BR/>You don't seem to have all the details on mikvah, which is fine, since you aren't female and aren't married... but randomly going to mikvah without doing the week of preparation and daily internal checks won't actually make her tahor, so it was a case of "too little too late" to try to make her go right before the chassanah.<BR/><BR/>Come read www.mayimrabim.com, or send her there. (Believe it or not, among the Orthodox women there are plenty of non-Orthodox women observing some aspect of Taharah HaMishpacha and even posting about it!) Maybe we can convince her to go at least once, even after the wedding... it's a mitzvah that can have spiritual dividends retroactively.<BR/><BR/>I hope your friend will understand that you didn't mean anything personal. Your understanding of religion does seem to be very, umm, how can I say this, Ba'al Teshuvah. (I'm one too... it's not a bad thing, but it's easy to miss details and get confused, and especially to sound high and mighty when you don't intend to at all, and are just trying to get others to do things "right.")Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10890885.post-1124461400011062492005-08-19T10:23:00.000-04:002005-08-19T10:23:00.000-04:00By the way anonymous, what is your problem with mi...By the way <B>anonymous</B>, what is your problem with <I>minhagim</I> (customs)? 1) Why do you hate them so much, and 2) why do you feel that it is so important to do just the minimum of <I>halacha</I> (Jewish law)? [<I>Minhagim</I> are <I>chumras</I> (stringencies) on the <I>halachot</I> (laws). In <I>halacha</I> (Jewish law), you are supposed to follow the <I>minhagim</I> (customs) of your father. Why don't you?] <BR/><BR/>On a personal level, you seem to find <I>minhagim</I> appalling; I find them admirable and well-meaning.] <BR/><BR/>...and while we're at it, 3) why have I always sensed from you such a slithering hatred for those who follow <I>yiddishkeit</I> (Judaism) stricter than you do? What happened to you when you were younger to cause such a hatred for others of your own kind? <BR/><BR/>Lastly, 4) why don't you get your own user name so you can be accountable for your comments?? I'm considering changing my settings so that only blogger users can comment on my site. -ZoeZoe Strickmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07940789852735669214noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10890885.post-1124460079725354082005-08-19T10:01:00.000-04:002005-08-19T10:01:00.000-04:00I was talking about physically separating and thus...I was talking about physically separating and thus not seeing each other. For that so called minhag, there is not basis. <BR/><BR/>Of course I wasn't talking about sex before marriage. I assumed you weren't either.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10890885.post-1124459168704357052005-08-19T09:46:00.000-04:002005-08-19T09:46:00.000-04:00Anonymous: If you're talking about sex and yichud ...<B>Anonymous:</B> If you're talking about sex and yichud before marriage, I disagree. If you are talking about fasting, I also think I disagree. As for physically separating [meaning not physically seeing each other], I thought that was part of it because that's what I see in weddings all the time. Must be minhag (custom).<BR/><BR/>Otherwise, thank you for the correction. Sometimes the borders between minhag and halacha get blurred by me because I'm around it so much. I'm working on learning the distinctions.<BR/><BR/><B>Rowan:</B> I think you might be guessing correctly. Funny how things come out at times like this.Zoe Strickmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07940789852735669214noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10890885.post-1124458977973144602005-08-19T09:42:00.000-04:002005-08-19T09:42:00.000-04:00I don't know really, but I am wondering if he has ...I don't know really, but I am wondering if he has thrown his jewish "laws" out the window lately. Maybe he really no longer cares about those things? Sound liek he has been living in sin in more ways than one. Just guessing.Rowanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01446435491941733971noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10890885.post-1124458186357735682005-08-19T09:29:00.000-04:002005-08-19T09:29:00.000-04:00"He is also not separating himself from her before..."He is also not separating himself from her before the wedding"<BR/><BR/>There is *no* halachic basis for any sort of separation before the wedding. None.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com