Last night after fuming to the point that I was ready to start a fight I tried talking calmly to my wife who was already defensive, argumentative, and upset at me from my previous tirades.
I spoke to her calmly, and thank G-d she's a good-hearted person. She listened to me and heard me out which is exactly what I needed. She then gave me her advice and after a bit of arguing, etc. we kind of got an understanding of each other.
Yesterday was not one of my highlights of being a husband, but it does show how one miscommunication after the other can build up to a huge fight where we were fighting and getting angry at every minute detail of the things the other was doing when in fact we were angry about something else. Namely, she was upset about me having a "poor-me" mentality, and I was upset about her not supporting me.
This morning was much better. We woke up, had coffee, talked about what needed to get done today, and she went off to the store and I went to work at the dining room table. We were very polite to each other (which is the key to getting along in a marriage -- being polite to one another) and I was happy that our fight was over.