Sunday, June 25, 2006

Nervous Breakdown?

[Sorry for editing this post; I removed a few things that I felt would give away my real identity, and I wrote this blog entry out of frustration.]

I know I'm totally supposed to be positive about everything, but I am so over stressed that I cannot even see straight anymore. Last night, I was talking to my wedding planner, and he was giving us all these catering options, etc., and I told him to STOP IT because I couldn't take it anymore. I felt like I was literally my head was literally going to pop. I'm not kidding.

I am wondering whether I am moving close to a nervous breakdown. I am so overwhelmed that I can't even see straight anymore.

Here are my issues:
1. I don't have a handle on the money issue regarding how my Callah and I are going to pay for the wedding, and we have not yet had the discussion on whether we have the same beliefs about how money is to be handled. We also haven't discussed exactly how we plan to pay for living expenses and this is stressing me out.

2. I feel that there are so many things that need to be done on both my end and on her end, and this is overwhelming me, especially because 180% of my time is taken up by studying for the bar exam.

3. There are some basic ways as a Chosson and Callah are supposed to be interacting during the engagement period, and we are walking the fine line between the type of relationship that secular lovers have versus the relationship that a chassidic Chosson and Callah would have.

Point being, steam is coming out of my ears and pressure is being felt behind my eyes SO MUCH that I fear that if I don't relax, I might actually break down. When I said I feel like I am going to pop, I am NOT KIDDING.


Raine said...

ok , here are some can take them or not, one, none or all. maybe they will help, maybe not.
1. explain to your fiancee and your mom that you have to focus on your bar exams and you cant do all this and not blow, sooo hang the budget to your mom and your fiancee and let THEM do the wedding. Your mom will love be involved and that will get you out of that part of it.
2. living expenses- as a temporary measure, until you have the time and energy to figure it all out, just figure out the monthly expenses and split them down the middle. Explain this is temporary til all the hubbub dies down and you guys can work on your lives plans
3. I am assuming you are jewish and religious and so is she. is there not some sort of religious /marriage advisor/counselor you can go to? premarital counseling?
These are my thoughts- maybe you will find something you can use in them. Also you can go to the doctor and get something for anxiety to get you thru all the hubbub if that isnt to repellant of a thought for you

Mirty said...

Hi Zoe -- Wow, weddings are incredibly stressful. I have no idea how my husband and I got through planning ours!

Definitely talk to your rabbi. Are you and your callah meeting with him? My husband and I had several counseling sessions with our rabbi before the wedding. We talked about many issues, some of which you mention here, such as finances and how to deal with "butinsky" parents and in-laws.

Money is a touchy subject but it's important for you and your bride to talk about it together. Be upfront about your feelings and where you are each coming from. I think a frank discussion, perhaps in the context of counseling with your rabbi, would be helpful.

yourface2 said...

Ha! Your blog is hilarious!

Margo said...

How well do you and this girl know each other?