Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Instant Message conversation about life and work. ...boring

This will be a cheap blog entry, skip at will. I'm just cutting and pasting snippets of my feelings about life in general from an IM discussion with a friend of mine. I'm sure he wouldn't mind me using our conversation as fodder for a blog entry.

(6:41:50 PM) Zoe: I'm just balancing a full family life, 8 credits of compsci courses, full-time work, reading countless books to improve career knowledge, paying all the bills and hoping we have enough at the end of the month, and at the same time, trying to pay off my $160K of school loans at high interest rates AND deal with my own laziness and inability to function up to my own standards.
(6:50:57 PM) FRIEND: how is your son doing?
(6:51:07 PM) FRIEND: when are u putting him in school?
(6:51:40 PM) Zoe: He is doing well, as you can see from the pics.. He's growing so much!
(6:51:45 PM) Zoe: You wouldn't recognize him.
(6:52:03 PM) Zoe: He won't start school until he's 5.
(6:52:28 PM) Zoe: We'll probably put him in baby daycare and/or preschool and/or gan before then too.
(6:52:35 PM) FRIEND: nice
(6:52:43 PM) FRIEND: how does it feel to be a daddy?
(6:53:39 PM) Zoe: It feels as if there's meaning -- I can't pull the same stuff I did before I was married. There's little room for waste once you're married.
(6:54:21 PM) FRIEND: what do u mean?
(6:54:35 PM) Zoe: That's probably why I'm having such a hard time. I have a hard time waking up in the morning, getting to minyan every morning, showering, eating, getting to work on time, being productive at work, billing the hours I work (lately I've been spending so much time at work billing nothing because I'm just distracted), etc.
(6:55:04 PM) Zoe: meaning that I'll be at work for 10 hours, but I'll only be able to bill 6 or 7.
(6:55:15 PM) Zoe: and even that's pushing it.
(6:55:19 PM) FRIEND: :(
(6:55:39 PM) Zoe: I'm scared of being fired and I'm scared of being caught that I am not as productive as I feel that I should be.
(6:59:20 PM) Zoe: PLUS, it KILLS me that I spend so much time here that I can't be paid for because I'm just not being productive.
(6:59:26 PM) Zoe: I just can't get my head in order.
(7:00:20 PM) FRIEND: maybe your just thinking to much
(7:00:31 PM) FRIEND: or maybe u just need to just pick up and leave hook or crook at a certain time
(7:01:38 PM) Zoe: um, I physically MUST bill a certain amount of time each week, and I physically MUST bill a certain amount of ADDITIONAL HOURS OVER THAT TIME to pay the minimum bills each month.
(7:01:52 PM) FRIEND: i see
(7:02:00 PM) FRIEND: my field works a lot different
(7:02:21 PM) Zoe: that's the lawyer world. you bill what you produce, not how many hours you were in the office.

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