Wednesday, October 15, 2008
My view of my job from a religious perspective.
Now to the religious stuff and the beliefs I have about everything that is going on.
Firstly, I have no idea whether I'm next or not, and whether when I go into work tomorrow I'll be told that I am no longer working there as well. I have to be prepared for this, even though my friend believes they'll just have me pick up his workload on top of my own.
<*!baby crying... be right back!*>
On Rosh Hashanna I did adequate Teshuva (repentance) -- not as wonderful as previous years' Teshuva, but I did have an idea this year of where I was strong in my religious observance and where I was weak. I am comfortable saying that last year I had so many things to be repentant for (my many sins) that it was hard to cover everything between the Shofar blasts.
This year, my list was very short. How I betrayed and disrespected my wife, my son, and my family by not being there for them as much as I could have been; how my Torah study was not as strong as it was in previous years; how I indulged in to the desires of my body far too often and disrespected my health by letting myself eat food and rob my body of sleep causing me to gain weight; and how I still squabble with certain kashrus issues such as Pas Yisroel and triangle-K hechures (kashrut certifications) which a normal Jew should have taken care of long before they were at where I am in my level of yiddishkeit (Judaism).
But all in all, I am satisfied with my Teshuva. Further, I did fast Yom Kippur and I did go to shul (synagogue) -- what I like to refer to as "bad tasting medicine" -- both during all the Yom Tovs and regularly for 6:30am minyanim (prayer) throughout the year. This was such a big accomplishment that in addition to providing a parnossa (a living) for my family and in addition to chinuch (child education) and just being an example for other Jews, I hope that I am in good favor with Hashem and that my sins have been forgiven and that I have been inscribed and sealed for a good year.
I believe that I"YH (if it is the will of G-d) that I have done what I need to do and if I am meant to have a good year I will and if not, then not, so if I get fired then I am sure it is the will of Hashem and I will just pick up and move to the next chapter in my life. Obviously it will be uncomfortable and change is never fun, but this is the way things are. On another note, if I am not to be fired, then I will continue to work hard and to stay on the plan to get the degree so that I can get the patent attorney job I've been longing for for so long.