Tonight after I got home, she wasn't speaking to me. I had an appointment with a client, and so when she overheard that I will be going over to his house at 8:30pm, she texted me from the next room, "I need you to pick up medicine for my flight tomorrow!! I thought you had a phone appointment."
On my way over to the client, I picked up the medicine. When I got home, I read Ahuva's response to my previous post and decided to apologize to her. I said, "I'm sorry for the things I said. They were hurtful, they were rude, and they were uncalled for." She said that I was borderline mentally disturbed, and she called me a pig-something asshole, and then went off on how I am so rude to focus only on myself when all she's done for me is play "poor Zoe" these past few days. Practically in tears, she screamed, "I am visiting my dying grandmother! I am not going to Israel on a vacation. Do you think I want to leave my kids for FIVE days? I'm going to say goodbye you asshole! And all you can think of is yourself... I can never forgive you for this..." I said, "okay, don't forgive me then." "I won't, I promise you," she said.
I really didn't defend myself at all tonight. As I figured initially from the text messages, she completely misunderstood what I was saying, and when I elevated the conversation to be more direct, she got further insulted. In the end, I don't think she has a clue as to what I was saying. I do understand her, however, and I feel bad that she was hurt today. However there is that part of me (most of me) which with every fiber of my being says that I am unhappy with the way she treats me as a husband and in a relationship; I am unhappy with the promises she has made and has broken so many times over, as I hold her to her word when she says she will do something; and I am unhappy with the unbalance that is between us -- me killing myself to support us and her living in comfort with the kids in daycare and her going out with her friends as if I am making six figures. So many wives complain that their husbands just sit around and don't help out. While my wife does do some cooking and cleaning, and she does take care of the kids, as for me and us, I feel like she does nothing to further our relationship or our future and she denies the dire financial situation we are in.
So now instead of relaxing, it is after 12am, and I have secured a client that I have been working on for months now. I am very honored that she has decided to go with me; I will be writing her patent. I came home tonight with a check and a signed contract. I was smiling and very excited, but my wife was nowhere to be found. When I peeped in the bedroom, she was asleep and not speaking to me, so I left the check on the table for her to see when she woke up. She said nothing.
So what am I going to do now that it is after 12am? Before she went to sleep, she shoved her laptop at me and said, "look at the text messages you wrote, and then you'll know why I am angry at you." I printed up the text messages in the last message in the order in which the texts happened, and now I'm going to write her a letter explaining [not defending] myself. I'll send it to her so she can read it once she arrives in Israel.