Wednesday, October 13, 2010
My wife has come home... she's been sleeping a lot.
She's been fine these past few days. She really hasn't said much. She spoke about her experiences in Israel and her spiritual experiences with regard to her grandma's death. As for us, she said that she cannot believe that the person I am would say the things I said and -- yes, these are her words -- I must have been possessed by the devil himself (I suppose she meant the Sattan or the Yetzer Hara) because all of my actions and everything around her seemed to go to extremes trying to stop her from going to Israel to say goodbye. She felt like she did holy things there, and she really affected the atmosphere of those around her, including uplifting her grandma who was receptive to her words of prayer.
As for everything else, she's been pretty quiet. I think she's jetlagged or depressed because she's been going to sleep around 7pm yesterday and tonight and I have not had a chance to spend any time with her since she's come back. I get back at 6:45pm, we put the kids to sleep, and she's asleep minutes later. My insecurities tell me to feel hurt that she hasn't made any effort to communicate with me or spend time with me, but I'm shaking these feelings off because whichever one it is, she probably needs time to come back to normal and regain her emotional and physical strength.
As for everything else, I've picked up the pace of my share of the housework to make things easier for her (and to keep me sane). On top of that, I've been having meetings with law firm prospective clients and I am up to two clients, possibly as of tonight, a third. We'll see. I am doing all this for us, you know... and to get me the hell out of that sweat shop of a document review project. WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND works document review in NYC for $25/hr?