Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Letter to Mikey on this blog's policy with regard to uninvited guests.


I was thinking about one of the messages I got from a person named "Mikey" which got me thinking. This message is not only to him, but to others like him who have stumbled onto my blog and who think they have "figured out" who I am. This goes against the purpose of this blog, and if any of such persons are on this blog without my permission, I consider this a violation and I expect that you will abstain from visiting the blog in the future. This blog is private.

The concept here is Loshon Hara, many people's favorite sin (and Mikey, I'm not saying this is yours, or that you are correct; you could be a well-meaning, good person). I am posting articles of this blog onto a public forum, hence anybody is able to access the blog. This is similar to me leaving the front door to my apartment unlocked. However, just because access is possible does NOT mean that it is not a trespass or a violation. A person wouldn't walk UNINVITED into another person's unlocked house, would they? Anyone that does risks getting shot.

My blog is my personal diary, and the benefit of the blog is that I have readers (many of whom I have developed friendships with over the past five years and keep in regular contact with and whose feedback I value) who read my blog for whatever their reasons -- hopefully the content on my blog helps them with their own issues that (chos v'sholom) they are facing. But, for whatever reason, I publish the blogs with the intent of getting FEEDBACK and COMMENTS which help me resolve or take positive steps to resolving personal issues that I am dealing with, whatever or with whomever they are at the time. ...back in law school, the blog was about dealing with the psychological issues facing a law student, and during other times over the years, they have been with regard to religious issues such as faith, observance, and understanding problems as they arise.

The blog has been a very helpful tool for me, but it only works when there is honesty, trust, and full disclosure of the issues and the feelings revolving the issues. The facts of the circumstances are obviously changed (and often not well enough) with regard to genders, locations, and relationships, but hopefully the changes are enough so that 1) the issues can still be properly addressed, and 2) as I have said in previous blog entries, so that those reading my blog would not recognize me "...if I were standing right next to them," as has happened on many occasions when friends of mine discussed the blog with me oblivious to the fact that I was the author. This is not because I have a big ego or that I get my jollies by having readers show an interest in my life, although I would never deny that this is a benefit of having a blog. I keep the anonymity for the simple reason that this world is not always a friendly place, that there are people who get pleasure out of hurting others (may they be cursed), and as a lawyer, there is an age-old rule, "NEVER WRITE ANYTHING DOWN THAT CAN LATER BE USED AGAINST YOU!" of which makes me nervous about anything I put down "on paper" in this blog.

Thus, in order for me to continue to keep this blog up, and to fully disclose to you what is going on in my life, I need 1) anonymity, and 2) privacy. I need to know that you will NOT be sharing details about my personal life with others. In Jewish law, this is called "Loshon Hara" and is a severe transgression. For that reason, I never name names in this blog, and I expect that you will never do so either.

But if anyone of my friends or those who know me want to get in touch with me, I have a private e-mail address under the Zoe Strickman name, frumpter@gmail.com. If you know my real name, I invite you to either e-mail me or join me on facebook.com -- depending on who your are, I might even be okay with you viewing this blog. However, if this permission was not EXPRESSLY granted, then this blog is NOT a place for your eyes -- the door is unlocked, but entry is NOT WECOME and NOT INVITED.

-Zoe

PS - Obviously, I can't enforce this or stare at you down the barrel of a shotgun, but if you continue to read this blog uninvited and against my wishes, you must understand that you are doing so under the condition that you KEEP WHAT YOU READ PRIVATE. You have been warned that discussing my private matters with others is a violation of loshon hara, and you'll have worse to answer to than to me.)

4 comments:

Ahuva said...

Good luck with that. I ended up making my blog private. It killed my readership (and so most of the purpose of having the blog), but it was really the only way of maintaining my privacy.

Mikey said...

Please be moichel me!
Also can you let me know what comment pissed you off to such a level that you would dedicate a post in my honor!

Zoe Strickman said...

Mikey, obviously you can see that things are not always smooth sailing with me.

I'm very selective about with whom I share the most intimate parts of my life. As you could probably tell, I don't have many friends (possibly as a result).

What upset me is that you are not the first person who has dropped a name or a guess at who I am, and that is totally AGAINST the purpose of this blog, as you have read. I'm not trying to become known or famous through this blog; on the contrary, I'm trying to keep things low-key so that I can resolve some issues I'm dealing with at home and on the work front.

I *HAVE* a blog and a facebook account which is CHOCK FULL of real-identity stuff. If you know me, this stuff is likely not for you.

-ZS

Mikey said...

Sorry "ZOE" but I noticed that a lot of ppl call you Hirsch in their comments, so i figured its common knowledge. I won't call you Hirsch any more "ZOE".
kthxbye