Wednesday, October 13, 2010

My wife has come home... she's been sleeping a lot.

Okay, so my wife came back yesterday morning.  I tried my hardest to be there early, but her flight got in around half an hour early.  By the time I got there, my wife was sitting there on the curb with a sad face on.  I was sad that I didn't get there earlier -- I really made an effort -- I even took off work in the morning even though we desperately need the hours -- so that I could be the one to pick her up.

She's been fine these past few days.  She really hasn't said much.  She spoke about her experiences in Israel and her spiritual experiences with regard to her grandma's death.  As for us, she said that she cannot believe that the person I am would say the things I said and -- yes, these are her words -- I must have been possessed by the devil himself (I suppose she meant the Sattan or the Yetzer Hara) because all of my actions and everything around her seemed to go to extremes trying to stop her from going to Israel to say goodbye.  She felt like she did holy things there, and she really affected the atmosphere of those around her, including uplifting her grandma who was receptive to her words of prayer.

As for everything else, she's been pretty quiet.  I think she's jetlagged or depressed because she's been going to sleep around 7pm yesterday and tonight and I have not had a chance to spend any time with her since she's come back.  I get back at 6:45pm, we put the kids to sleep, and she's asleep minutes later.  My insecurities tell me to feel hurt that she hasn't made any effort to communicate with me or spend time with me, but I'm shaking these feelings off because whichever one it is, she probably needs time to come back to normal and regain her emotional and physical strength.

As for everything else, I've picked up the pace of my share of the housework to make things easier for her (and to keep me sane).  On top of that, I've been having meetings with law firm prospective clients and I am up to two clients, possibly as of tonight, a third.  We'll see. I am doing all this for us, you know... and to get me the hell out of that sweat shop of a document review project.  WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND works document review in NYC for $25/hr?

17 comments:

Ahuva said...

Concentrate on the housework, the kids and your clients. Give her some space. You might also want to do something nice for her-- maybe pick up some inexpensive flowers or buy a book you think she'd like and leave it on her bed... Just a little something to say "I'm here and I care"

Don't forget that you're also doing the housework to keep yourself sane... and that getting clients is also something that you're doing for *yourself.* Do a little something (it doesn't have to be much) that's just for her.

Rae Macklyn said...

I agree with Ahuva in that you need to do something just for her, no matter how big or small.

More importantly to the big picture though, you do need to quit being so egocentric; it's not all about you, and you signed on to that agreement with the marriage. Perhaps you got married earlier than you should have? I don't know, but you are married and have three children (I pray that no more are on the way yet) and thus must man up and deal with it in a responsible and mature manner that will benefit them.

Anonymous said...

ZOE, MORE FREQUENT UPDATES PLEASE!

Anonymous said...

Come on Zoe!!!
Please post already!
Lea

Anonymous said...

Zoe, Where are you? Are you okay? Please update us!!!!

Anonymous said...

ZOE!!!
Come on!! Are you there? Alive?
Lea

Anonymous said...

Zoe,
Please let us know if you are done blogging.
How are you doing?
Lea

Anonymous said...

Hello All! Is anyone out there concerned about Zoe?
Lea

Anonymous said...

how would we even know if he is still alive...??

Anonymous said...

I am really worried! Does anyone know Zoe personally and can confirm he is okay?
Lea

tallit said...

Zoe I really loved your writing and I hope you can find the time to blog more!

Come back to us!

Ahuva said...

I would actually be very surprised in anyone who knew Zoe personally read this blog. He seemed to go to great lengths to keep things private.

I think he's gone long periods of time between blog posts before, however.

Still.. it would be nice to know if he was giving up the blog.

Rae Macklyn said...

He's alive, just not blogging, I guess.

Anonymous said...

This is agony...Like a favorite soap opera going OFF air with no advance notice.

Anonymous said...

I think she cut his shmekel off.

Anonymous said...

That's exactly what I was thinking! She should at least give him permission to say goodbye to us all! By now I bet they have yet another child with one more on the way and they are probably conceiving all these kids while not being on speaking terms.

Anonymous said...

He's probably trying to get into a non-certified med school in Thailand to become a heart surgeon. Unfortunately for him, six years after finally getting a "diploma" allowing him to practice as a heart surgeon, he comes back to the States and finds no one will hire him because he didn't go to a certified school, and his diploma is only valid in one hospital in Thailand.