6 Days to the Patent Bar Exam

I don't know if I'm ready... I've been taking past exams, going over the answers in detail, and understanding why I got wrong the ones I got wrong.

My average has moved up from a 60% (that original 68% on the mock final was a fluke, because for a week or so afterwards, all I got was an average of 50%-60% on my practice exams.

Anyway, needless to say (and I know not that interesting), I've been averaging 74%-76% lately, which is ABOVE the 70% score I need to pass.

So apparently, I am ready. Today is 6 days from the scheduled exam date, and so if my score averages stay where they are, I'll pass the exam. Today I am taking a trip over to the exam center so that I can get an idea of 1) where it is, 2) what kosher food is around there, and 3) where I can relax during my lunch break. I also plan on taking and reviewing a 1/2 length exam I will be taking when I get back home.

Other than that, one issue has popped up in my life which I don't want to talk about because I don't want to bring attention to it. I'll talk about it in the near future if it becomes an issue. All I can say about it is that it is on my mind and it might be a big enough distractor that it might cause me to fail the exam.

"The Port Condominium" in Florida STILL Prohibits Mezuzas

I read this article this morning that the board of a condo ("The Port Condominium" in Florida which is owned by Jews, by the way) has prohibited a Jewish woman from placing a mezuzah on her front door. They said that it was against their policy to allow religious articles (a.k.a. mezuzahs) to be shown on the outside of the apartments.

Note, however, that the board HAS ALLOWED Xmas wreaths and other such markings, but mezuzos? No, not allowed.

In my opinion, these practices are WRONG and should be fought at all costs. Apparently, they have gotten Chabad involved hoping that their lawyers would pick up this issue and fight for them.

It is my opinion that the fight should not only be by the attorneys, but be each one of us. Each one of us should pick up the phone, voice our opinion, write an e-mail, and do something about it. If YOU AND I do not fight this kind of injustice every time it happens, it will happen again and again.

The link is here.

-Zoe

Boston City-Wide Bomb Scare Video

I heard about this on the radio. There were a few guys that put up electronic advertising devices that caused a city-wide bomb scare. When the police learned about this, they shut down the roads, the highways, the trains, ...practically the whole city. The article is located here, and the video of them actually doing it (which I'll try to embed below) is located here.



While I find the protective response by the police laudable, I have mixed feelings about the criminal charges... After all, they were just trying to advertise their business. On the other hand, their tactic WAS invasive, as if someone walked around town putting up flyers or pasting sticky notes everywhere. I do this from time to time, and when I do, I know it is an invasive way to do things, but then again, doing things the regular way often ends up being quite expensive and not as effective.

The truth of the matter is that "in your face" advertising actually works. On the other hand, people want to be protected from immoral advertising that intrudes on your peace of mind at every step. A person should have the right NOT to be advertised to.

IDT Energy Scam?? Door-to-door Salesmen??

I just read the articles here, here, and here.

Do you know these people CAME to our door asking for our electricity bill promising to save us money?

I told him that I wasn't the landlord and I don't make electricity decisions. I told him to ring another doorbell and I walked away.

Now I'm reading this article and I just realized that these are the guys I was talking to.

ON THE OTHER HAND, I *AM* the kind of guy who would support the underdog trying to make a living or trying to make a place for himself in the big business world filled with monopolies, so if this company WAS legit (which apparently it is NOT), I would support them in a second.

Then again, IDT is apparently owned by frum Jews, and I would support a company for that reason alone 1) if they were HONEST, and 2) if they provided GOOD service and REASONABLE prices. I don't know, however, whether this is the same IDT as is owned by the Jews, but if it IS and it IS a scam, then I hate them for being dishonest and making a Chilul Hashem. [I hate it when religious Jews scam other people. It makes my blood boil hot red.]

US PATENT BAR EXAM DATE SET FOR FEBRUARY 12TH, 2007

Okay, it's official. My USPTO Patent Bar Exam is scheduled for FEBRUARY 12, 2007!

Your appointment for the computer-based U.S PATENT REGISTRATION EXAM is confirmed.

Please find the confirmation details that follow:
Client Candidate Id: XXXXX
Confirmation: 00000000XXXXXXXX
Program: United States Patent and Trademark Office
Exam Code: USPRE - U.S PATENT REGISTRATION EXAM
Exam Date: 12 Feb 2007
Exam Time: 09:00 (8 hrs)
Prometric Test Center

Okay, so this is it. As if I weren't already in crunch time. Now we're in super-crunch time-bar-review-mode. Honestly, I feel totally panicked, as if I am going to fail and all this studying will be for nothing. Nah, then again, I've studied diligently for months.

I completed the PLI Patent Bar Exam Home Study Course, a MONUMENTAL achievement. I passed the bar exam without a sweat on my brow; another monumental achievement. This is just ONE MORE STEP on the pathway from here to where I want to be. I can do this. I can.

All I need to do is to keep doing what I have been doing, just faster and more often. I need to get my times in order and get my body used to the conditions of an 8 hour exam. I need to take exams in 4 hour blocks, ideally twice in a day. That will condition me for the exam.

This is the end of my journey. This, other than the job search and interview process, is the last hurdle before I can start working as an attorney. I am very excited about this.

- Zoe

PS - One thing that I think is cowardish of me to mention is the thought of canceling or rescheduling if my scores are not high enough to pass the exam. There is no fee to cancel or reschedule the exam date, as long as 1) I call 2 business days in advance of the exam date by 12pm, and 2) that I reschedule the exam by the middle of April 2007, the end of the window of when I can take the exam. I SERIOUSLY DO NOT WANT TO RESCHEDULE, but if I won't pass, a reschedule might be the only option. The problem -- for me, at least -- is that knowing I have some kind of an out makes me feel that it is okay to slack off just a little bit because there is a way out.

Napoleon burned his ships after he landed with his troops on the enemy's shore to show his troops that there is NO FLEEING and NO TURNING BACK. The two options are VICTORY or DEATH. I need to feel the same way.

Concerns regarding PLI's Patent Bar Review Course

Since finishing PLI's patent bar review course, I have been doing practice questions and have been taking practice exams on some PatBar StudySmart 4.0 software that a friend of mine let me borrow because my PLI Patware software wasn't working.

I am happy that I am finished with the bar review course, but I am not so happy that I am averaging 50% on the practice exams. (I need 70% to pass). Yes, on the sample final that PLI gave us, I scored a 68%, which is one question shy of the 70% needed to pass, but I have a feeling that this test was an unintended TRICK to falsely give us confidence for the exam.

What annoys me is that I did EVERYTHING the course told me to do -- in the order and depth the course told me to do it -- and I emerged from the course with a 50% test score average. This annoys me because when I took Pieper Bar Review for the NY bar exam, I was scoring WAY HIGHER than what was required to pass the bar exam, and I passed with flying colors. This course barely prepares you to pass.

What scares me further is that the PLI Patent Bar Review course that I am taking was purchased from a law school friend who bought the course in 2004 and passed the patent bar in 2005. But he was a scientist for a patent firm, so he knew what he was doing before he even listened to the first CD. Since then, the exam is using an updated MPEP (patent manual) with updated rules and updated cases. I don't know these new rules or cases, and I am relying on a 2-year old course which puts me at a slight disadvantage, but a worthy disadvantage because I payed FAR LESS than full price for the course. This was good for my marriage-life budget and was worth the risk.

To add insult to injury, the BarBri PatBar software in my opinion is flimsy, outdated, and has errors (I've looked up answers multiple times in the MPEP patent manual and have found that the answers on the patbar software were often WRONG.) This annoyed me.

All in all, I want to raise my average to at least 75% (ideally 80%) to give myself the cushion that I need to overcome any disadvantages I have from the conditions and circumstances of which I have walking into the exam.

How I was Taught to Treat My Wife in our Chassidic Marriage

Okay, Knished asked me to write about MARRIED LIFE...

Married life. Well, in my case, my wife and I have agreed to live a chassidic lifestyle which means no television in the home, whereas the home environment is centered around us spending time with each other, doing the laundry, the dishes and anything else that needs to get done, meals (sometimes with guests) and Torah learning.

[We are still watching movies, albeit outside the home because our Rav told us that it is a lesser evil to watch movies outside the home than it is to bring movies into the home and ruin the atmosphere we have chosen to have in our home.]

Generally, (and I'll try to stick to it even now,) I've made it a point NOT to speak about my wife or our relationship on this blog because even though she knows about it, I actually don't think she's been on here lately. However, I feel that it is inevitable that she one day WILL read every word I write here, and I don't want any of it to make her do anything but smile.

Yes, there are complications sometimes with our relationship. Often it is me who has the rule or the belief as to how couples in a chassidic marriage are supposed to treat each other (e.g. with respect, always remembering who we are speaking to, and NEVER cursing or raising our voice to the point of yelling with one another, cleaning after one's self, etc.) and often it is my wife who goes through life not aware of my rules until she notices that I am highly upset and often it is me who for whatever reason has let the issue build up until I'm more upset about the issue than I should be.

FORGIVENESS OF INADEQUACIES:
On my end, the trick to a happy marriage is always understanding that (B"H) I have a wonderful wife with a GOOD HEART who loves me deeply AND WHO DEALS WITH MY IMPERFECTIONS. Trust me -- I am FAR from perfect. But she deals with my ups and my downs, my messes and my idiosyncrasies, and thus since she is SO FORGIVING of my inadequacies, I have the unshakable duty to be as forgiving of hers. Plus, she is a human being just like I am; she burps, bloats, gets tired, moody, and hungry like anyone would. She is as disciplined as she wants to be in whatever areas she chooses to be, and I need to respect that about her.

GENEROSITY (ABOVE AND BEYOND WHAT IS EXPECTED):
Regarding our daily lives, I feel that it is important for me to be sensitive to her needs, and I often go out of my way to do things that I don't need to do, and I try to seek out what she needs and I get it for her or do it for her before she even asks me for it (even if she would never even think of me doing it for her). If I find that she doesn't acknowledge it after a while and I start to feel taken advantage of, I tell her. If she still doesn't acknowledge it, we'll fight.

OPEN COMMUNICATION:
I learned from my Rabbi that it is very important to always keep a line of communication open with your wife. Always, even if it is something totally embarrassing, such as me getting a 3rd parking ticket in a one-week period because I get distracted and I forget to move the car or when it is something very difficult, such as confronting her on something she did that hurt my feelings, or carefully advising her on a better way to handle a touchy subject while being very sensitive to her feelings.

I learned this lesson of having complete and open communication when I received my diagnosis and I went on medication -- I told my Rabbi and I made him promise not to tell anyone -- not even his wife -- about it and he promised. Weeks later, he told me, "You know Zoe, I have never held anything back from my wife. This has been the first thing that I have ever hidden from her since we've been married." Firstly, I felt terrible that I put a separation between them, namely my dirty little secret. Secondly, this was a big lesson for my own marriage.

MOVE YOUR ANGER OUT OF HER WAY:
There are times where I get angry, frustrated, enraged at anything or anyone -- even my wife. However, during those times, I make sure I am NOT AROUND MY WIFE when I am in those states of being. She doesn't need to deal with these, and under NO condition should I take out my frustrations on her. I certainly don't hide anything from her, but I don't take my anger out on her.

When we have an argument and I see that it is escalating to the point where I am about to lose my temper or say something that I will regret, I have learned from my Rabbi that I should do WHATEVER IT TAKES to get out of that situation before I explode -- "jump out of a window if you must, as long as you get out of there before it is too late" my Rabbi says. The goal here is NEVER TO LOSE YOUR TEMPER AROUND THE OTHER PERSON. Fights are healthy, but they should stay healthy. There is no reason to be calling each other names or using the F word or belittling the other person. Maintaining RESPECT and INTEGRITY is what is needed to keep the shalom bayis (peace in the house).

EXPRESSING LOVE, APPRECIATION, AND RESPECT:
This is also super important. You should always love and respect your wife, even when you are not feeling like it. Love isn't something you have or are "in," but rather, it is something you DO. Sometimes it is difficult, especially if she is not living up to your expectations at that moment, but it doesn't matter. She is your wife and she deserves your love ALWAYS, even when you are in the middle of a fight.

Other than these tidbits of wisdom that I have learned, my wife and I (B"H) are doing well. We are learning each other's patterns and we are learning how to help the other person stay happy. We let each other be who we are, and we don't force our views of what we would like our partners to be on the other. We don't hang out 24/7, and there are times that we completely do our own thing, but at least we communicate with each other and make sure that the other person isn't feeling slighted or left out.

Most of all, it is important to appreciate who you have for the rest of your life. There will be only one person who will be there from now until the day you die (you hope) -- that is your wife. Treat her well, love her like no other, and treat her with respect.

Frumpter blog activity observation -- misleading?

I am getting quite nervous that my public blog [not this blog which is my "private" blog, but the "public" one that I put up to further disguise my blogging activities] visitation rates have gone up significantly by those I know visiting the blog, and the reason I am getting nervous is because I have been pretty much posting VERBATIM what I post on this blog on that blog...

The thing is that since I've been married and since the whole mental health issue has become quite an old one (moot), I have been posting topics on both blogs (verbatim) that are not a secret to anyone, not even to those I know or am close with.

However, with more and more people visiting my "public" blog [which has my real identity, but has significantly filtered content], I fear that one day a friend of mine who peruses my public blog will notice a similarity between the postings on that blog and the postings on this one and will figure out that I, [my real name], am "Zoe Strickman", a.k.a. "Frumpter."

I could be more discreet, but it means a lot to me that I am able to keep in touch with a large number of my friends just by pointing them to my blog. This is a HUGE time-saver, especially for someone like me at this point in my life where I have no time to keep in touch with everyone because I'm studying for the Patent Bar Exam.

Anyway, on another note, I've been looking at the statistics for this site, and it appears that this site gets some 200 visitors each week. The funny thing is that few people post comments on this site and the comment section of the blog generally seems to be dead, whereas a few months ago, I used to get a maximum of 20-30 comments per post. This lack of response to my posts is discouraging, and I am wondering whether 1) my life has just been boring lately, 2) the topics that I write about are boring and stale, or 3) maybe the statistics are wrong and really nobody is visiting the site and I'm writing to the walls.

MOCK Patent Bar Exam Results

I just finished and graded the final exam for the patent course that I've been taking. Anything between 70%-80% means that I would be ready to take the patent bar exam with minimal post-course work. (There is another 80 hours of post-course work to boost up my final score average.)

I got 68% correct. (34 correct answers out of 50 questions).

Are you psyched??? This means that I am very close to being ready to take the exam, and all that I need is just a bit of fine tuning and memorizing information.

Timewise, I finished the 3 hour exam in 1 hour and 20 mins and I still got the score that I did.

This means that since the MPEP (Patent Manual from which many questions are taken) contains most of the answers to the questions, at this rate, I will be able to use the remaining 1.5 hours to simply look up answers to difficult questions.

Anyway, I just wanted to share the news.

I just received the certification in the mail allowing me to sit for the patent bar exam! I must schedule and take the examination between 1/16/2007 and 04/16/2007.

Now the pressure is on...

Corporate Paralegal -- The Expected Rejection Letter

I am not surprised. I received a form letter from the Human Resources Manager the next day:
Thank you very much for taking the time to meet with us to discuss the position of Corporate Paralegal.

While your background and qualifications are impressive, we have selected an individual whose background is more closely related to our opening. 

We will keep your application on file should a position become available in the future for which you are qualified.

We appreciate your interest and wish you the best of everything as your career progresses in the future.
Anyway, as everybody there knew, this was to be only a temporary position until I got admitted and until I passed the patent bar.  Then, they would have to either (after a period of time) switch me over to work as an attorney or risk losing me to a firm or company who would be paying the appropriate salary.

I still feel that for the Company's individualized needs (they needed someone with IP knowledge to wade through boxes and boxes of patents and paperwork coming in because the company was going through a whole bunch of mergers and break-offs and they lost their IP department) I would have been an appropriate candidate, but I don't feel wronged; rather, I feel like it was some kind of message telling me that I shouldn't be wasting my time in tangential endeavors -- rather, I should do what I am supposed to do -- I should wait for the certification from the patent office to take the exam while finishing up my patent bar studying, I should schedule the exam, take it, pass it, and start working as a patent attorney -- the whole plan all along. 

Over-qualified? I thought that was a cliche'.

Well, I had my interview this afternoon. I was supposed to meet with four attorneys, but one of them refused to see me. I was a little bit confused, especially since he was the head patent guy in the Company for whom I would be working.

In short, my interview was a DISASTER. The management whom I met with jumped all over the idea of training an attorney and paying me as a paralegal so that I can "get my foot in the door" and "learn the ropes of the business world while at the same time learning the real workings of a corporate IP department." However, the attorneys were appaled by the idea. They said that I was overqualified, and that I didn't belong in the Company as a paralegal. I tried to convince them that I was "starting at the bottom, like in the mail room" to no avail. They were right; I didn't belong there as a paralegal.

Further, the attorneys said that they wouldn't feel comfortable bossing me around, especially because I would be their equal and/or superior in knowledge in status, especially once I passed the patent bar. I am specialized in patent law, and it was written all over my resume. Part of me wondered whether they just didn't like the idea of an attorney (or in my case, a soon-to-be-admitted-attorney who has passed the bar exam) to work as a paralegal. Another part of me thought that I would have gotten the job if I erased the words "Juris Doctor" from my resume as if I never went to law school, ever. Most of me knew they were concerned that I wouldn't stick around in a medium-paying paralegal position after being sworn in as an attorney and so they would be wasting their time training me. I thought they were right.

On this topic, I spoke to the human resources guy about this issue before I even went on the interview -- he said that it was his (and management's) intention to train me as a paralegal for the short-term with the intention of having me move up to the ranks of attorney after a year or so of familiarizing myself with the business and the technology. I thought this was a good idea.

However, when I walked out of there, I was sure that I was walking out alone; ...WITHOUT the job.

On a positive note, today I learned a big lesson -- ATTORNEYS SHOULD NOT APPLY FOR PARALEGAL POSITIONS. That wasn't the lesson, but the rule. The lesson I learned was that I should finish up what I have been working on (namely, the patent bar) and I should take that G-d forsaken exam and get it over with and start working at a regular firm. This was the plan until I got the e-mail last week from the HR manager of the Company who saw my resume and thought it would be a good idea if I applied for the paralegal position.

Anyway, back to the patent bar.

Growing Pains and Suit Sizes

[original NewsTarget.com link here]

Sure, it's not that easy in the mornings. Waking up when all I want to do is sleep; getting to minyan, studying with a chevrusa -- we're doing Gemara Sukka. ...and then the dreaded daily studying -- guess what -- IY"H, that routine will soon come to an end. I got a job interview. The position isn't for an attorney, but it is for a IP Paralegal in a neighboring state. I'm very excited about this, because even though this job is not for an attorney, it is close enough and it gets my foot in the door so that when I pass the Character and Fitness review and get sworn in as an attorney, and when I pass the patent bar, I hope to have the option of converting my job title to Patent Attorney (after all, I'll already be working there). At the very least, the employer has acknowledged that she knows I am a lawyer and that I passed the bar exam, and so after a few months of training as a paralegal (which by the way pays more than a starting attorney here in my state), they'll upgrade me to attorney status.

I guess a benefit for them is that they train me to work for them as an attorney while paying me the reduced salary of a paralegal. I don't mind. At least I'll be working and gaining relevant experience that I can put on a resume and supporting my family so that my wife can feel that she doesn't need to work after the baby comes and maternity leave runs out.

So that's it. Everything else in order... My wife and I bought a suit yesterday. I couldn't believe that the 46L size that I have been for so many years no longer fit me. Was I heavier because of being out of shape or from having my pitty pregnancy belly? [If you can even call it that] -- the problem was not my belly, but the fact that the suit jacket kept arching out from my chest in the front, which is a sign that my chest is too big for the suit. We checked my chest -- nothing but muscle. Could I have my last puberty spurt - this one expanding the size of my chest at the age of 29?

Anyway, so we went up a size and "48 Long"s were ALSO TOO SMALL. I thought, "what the hey?" So we went up to size 50 Long and those fit the chest, but the suit itself was WAY too big. So we settled on my size being a large 48 Long / athletic 50 Long. We found a suit that was 48 Long and with some modifications to the pant size (adding 2 inches) it finally fit. Then we went to buy ties (I own almost none because I never wear them) and a belt. Since the suit was black, I bought a black and red striped tie -- the red was to suggest power and the black was to match the suit. However, while the whole appearance is very impressive, it just occurred to me that I will be wearing the colors of the militant black panther (black power) group, but I am white. Either way, the colors and pattern of the tie look quite collegiate, and now I have a suit that fits me for the interview.

Wish me luck!

Patent Bar - Sprinting to the Finish Line...

> Dear Zoe,

> Wow your ALMOST done!

> I have a question, How are you doing this? Are you following in the Study guide as you listen to the CD or taking notes or both?

> Or are you reading the study guide after you listen to the CD?

> - Danny

Dear Danny,
That question cost me 5 months to figure out.

This is the method they tell you to follow on the tapes:
Step 1) pre-read the chapter before you listen to the audio.
2) Listen to the audio
3) Then after listening to the audio, shut off tape and do questions and/or exercises / practice exams.
4) Resume tape and go over questions and answers
5) Do lunch homeworks and mini-exams when instructed.
6) Continue onto the next tape.

Believe it or not, this has been EXACTLY what I have been doing up until last week.

Since last week, I've decided to pick up the pace to finish this thing so that I can start working already. So I spoke to my wife and decided to hit this course 1000% [bar review mode] for two weeks. I hope to finish the course using the modified method below:

I've altered steps 1) & 3) and I have started to pause the tape as I get to new topic headings and skim the chapter contents, then I listen to the audio while looking at the book, all the while taking notes in the margins. At the end of the tape, I return to the study guide and go over the notes again, but this time in more detail because I've heard the overview from the tape. I make notes, transfer them out of the book, and keep going. Keeping going means not stopping for phone calls or snack breaks or anything until you have ABSOLUTELY NO ENERGY left to keep your eyes open and you must shower, daven, and sleep. This has been my life for almost the past week.

Oh, and I've found that it is SIGNIFICANTLY HELPFUL to speed up his speaking because he is very slow. The only way I could figure out how to do this was that I installed a program on my iPod mini 2g (called rockbox) that allows me to speed up his voice, because otherwise it would take me HOURS to get through a CD. So I sped his voice up using the "pitch" feature to 130% and now he goes at a respectable pace. Microsoft MediaPlayer probably has a similar feature.

Lastly, the past two days have been dedicated to transferring all my notes to Microsoft OneNote and creating mnemonics, Pieper Bar Review style.

I know this is a long answer to the short question, but I wanted to share with you the full experience. I can't wait until this is over. Soon. Very soon.

Zoe Strickman

PS - One more thing -- don't stop. Make this a marathon until it's over or else you might lose momentum and get totally bored and distracted from the density of this material. If you keep moving, you can blow right past the boring parts and not get stuck. That was my hard lesson -- don't stop or it will take you triple the time to start back up again.

Learning Gemara with my Rabbi as a CHEVRUSA!

By the way, I am TOTALLY JAZZED!

I was talking to my Rabbi over Shabbos, and he mentioned that his Gemara (Talmud) chevrusa (study partner) couldn't study with him on a regular basis anymore because their time schedules are not working the way they used to, so he needs to find someone to study with...

I thought... "was he hinting to me that he would like to learn with me??" This was totally an opportunity for me, and so I [calmly] jumped on it. I told him that I would be willing to learn with him; he was only willing to do it if I were willing to make it a regular thing and if I were reliable. "Hell yeah!" I thought.

So we agreed to learn Gemara Sukkah over the next year on Mondays and Fridays between 9:30am - 10:30am, but under the condition that we learn it the REAL WAY [see, infra]. The time is a slight inconvenience because 1) that is the time I usually am in shul davening (praying), and 2) 10am is when I start studying for the patent bar, and 3) if I get a job with a law firm, this schedule will be difficult to keep, but I am willing to daven earlier and change my schedule to make this happen.

[THE REAL WAY]: My rabbi learned in 770 Eastern Parkway ["770"] -- the home of the Lubavicher Rebbe. In other words, he's from the old school and he learned how to learn gemara the way the Rebbe and the bochurim [students] in 770 learned gemara. I would give ANYTHING to be able to learn gemara like that.

So I am totally excited that I will be learning with him. This will be an amazing experience, and I can't wait for the opportunity to learn with him. I've learned the tractate on Sukkah before in yeshiva, so I am familiar with the text and I will (IY"H) be able to follow him when he delves deep into the words of the text. I am very excited to be given this opportunity.

Thank you Hashem!

Waiting for the patent bar exam date to arrive...

Now is the silence before the tumultuous finale. I've passed the bar. I've gotten married. I have a child 5 months on the way. I've studied for the patent bar and registered for the exam. I've applied for jobs. Now I'm in a holding pattern, waiting for things to happen (although actually like a duck in a pond)...

I am not yet finished with the studying for the patent bar, but at least I've made a regimen of studying for a certain number of hours each day and I've stuck to it. I would say that I am 3/4 of the way finished, which is both exciting for me and scary.

I sent in my paperwork to the patent office weeks ago to register for the exam plus the paperwork and the documentation to prove that I am eligible to become a patent attorney. The funny thing is that I received a letter from the patent office stating that they didn't believe that my middle initial was really my middle name, and they asked me to resubmit my application, this time providing my middle name. The problem is that I don't have one; I only have a middle initial.

I called up the director at the patent office and told him that my middle initial IS my middle name, and that there is no name associated with it on my birth certificate or any other legal documents. He thought that was the weirdest thing. I told him "it does stand for something, but the real name is just that middle initial. Do you want me to put that name on the application?" He said, "Are you asking me if I want you to lie on the application???"

I couldn't believe we were having this conversation. In short, he asked me to send him a letter and some proof of the fact that I don't have a middle name, but just a middle initial. I sent out that documentation last week.

Other than that, in my mind I am scrambling before the exam taking in every bit of time that I can to study. I must pass this exam so that I can get a job in a patent law firm.

The Mundane Existence of Twin Flames

I'm so sorry... Lately, there really is nothing to tell... at least regarding crazy experiences which merit writing in a blog. Married life has taken my former crazy emotional life, and has turned it "normal".

I still sometimes have problems sleeping... I am still reading (absorbing) books on homeopathy so that when I have a family I will be able to be not only the "rabbi" of the home, but also the "healer" / "doctor". I am still studying for the Patent Bar Exam (thank G-d, I sent out the paperwork and am waiting for a confirmation letter so that I can schedule the exam)...

I PASSED THE NY BAR EXAM!!!

The interesting thing about married life is that things become daily activities to maintain the home... Take out the trash... Do the laundry... Get the mail from the mailbox... Clean up after yourself... Shower regularly... Brush your teeth... Twice... Daven (pray) in the morning with a minyan... Go grocery shopping... Sleep at night...

The thing that I could "complain" about (if there was something) is that nothing happens anymore. We have our respective schedules, we frequently visit her parents, we visit mine, we have dinner almost every evening, we rarely go out, we sit on the couch and read at night until we go to sleep.

As for spontenaity, this is what gets to me the most. It doesn't take ONE person to make the marriage interesting; it takes two. I can get excited about something or try to be adverturous or seductive or spontaneous, but if she's not into it, the idea flops, as it often does. If I continue being excited about it and if I push the idea (which I often do), in her eyes I am seen as annoying and childish.

Additionally, I find that I make myself "busy" (a.k.a. I make myself look as if I am busy and/or productive) because if not, I am seen as lazy and am judged. It hurts that this happens, because I am the one that just finished three CRUEL years of law school and I am the one that just passed the bar exam in NEW YORK (one of the most difficult bar exams in the United States), yet she is the one that is going to work every day and so I fear that she feels I am a slacker because I haven't found work yet. Yet, in my heart I want to THROW the blame on her that I am not finished with studying for the Patent Bar Exam because she distracts me and causes my life to be so upside down; however, the truth is that I don't prioritize my days (when I actually SHOULD be studying) well... Instead, I am busy doing the stuff that she wants me to do and am busy running errands which KILL my day (each and every day). Basically, I feel like I am the wife in this relationship, and this bothers me to no end. I NEED to start bringing in some money or else I fear that our relationship may suffer longterm.

Accidentally Caught an EVP in a "Reverse Speak" recording of my wife.

I'm actually a little bit upset at what happened tonight. I was playing with my recorder and recording my wife and playing it backwards to show her how unconscious messages are transmitted by the unconscious mind using the voice as a vehicle, and I accidentally picked up an EVP.

Let's clarify. Basically, "REVERSE SPEAK" is the concept that we speak on many levels, and our unconscious minds have the ability to transmit messages through the voice, which often are transmitted backwards, and the listener's brain picks up the messages and flips them back around.

The application is that when a man tells a woman "I love you" and in his mind he's thinking "You f'kin bi*#h," that highly negative message will be transmitted in the words "I love you," often just backwards. This is why sometimes we don't believe a person's intentions, but we cannot consciously understand why. However, if the person saying "I love you" is sincere, when you reverse the speech, often you'll find supporting messages like "you're wonderful" or something as simple as "I love you" reversed too. This is a very cool thing and I've played around with it to test my intentions and hear what is happening on another level.

However, tonight I was playing with it for the first time in quite a while, and as I was listening to my wife's voice, I heard another voice in almost a whisper. I got chills down my spine when I heard it because I got the feeling that it wasn't a human voice.

I slowed down the voice and withdrew the high pitched sounds of my wife's voice, and this left me with just the whispering I heard. It was saying "GET UP."

I decided to reverse the voice and see if there was anything there. When I reversed the voice, it said "LIE." I don't know whether this was lie as in "lie down," or "tell a lie," but either way it was not a welcome voice.

I told you bloggers a few months ago that I wasn't interested in playing with EVP because I was sure that if I tried it that it would work and I would end up freaking myself out. When I was a child, I was sure I heard demonic angry sounds from our shed. I never thought about it much, but when thinking back to this set of events, I attribute this event of the demon in the shed to a vivid imagination. I don't want to mention that there was this whole experience of the floor opening up [rocks separating] and a full visual hallucination that went along with it, but let's just say that I was a child with a healthy imagination.

Bringing us back to today, I do NOT want to hear voices on my recordings, and they are NOT welcome. The last thing I need are non-physical entities ("shin-daleds") who think that I can hear them. This is the last kind of energy I need at this time.

For more information on EVP's, I just did a quick google search and came up with this web site: http://www.allinfoaboutparanormal.com/recording_evps.html

As for the recording, if someone has a way for me to upload it so that you can hear it and isolate the voice better than I was able to, I would be willing to put the file on the web -- just tell me where to put it to make it available to you.

iTunes Podcasts I Subscribe To:

I forgot the list of podcasts from the last message. Here are the podcasts I listen to each week (as much as I can) and enjoy immensely:

Brain Food, Brain Sync - Theater of the Mind, Mysterious Universe, The OU's Daf Yomi, Chabad.org Daily Rambam & Tanya, A Quiet Mind, All in the Mind, Investor's Edge.

Recent Podcasts I've added and enjoyed: Chiropractic Kinesiology, Dr. Peter Bennett's Heath Programs, Dr. Wayne Dyer's Inspiration, Millionaire Mind Video Podcast, Point of Inquiry, Powerliving Podcast, Reiki Articles, The Innoculated Mind - Mindcast, The Reiki Show, Zencast.

There have been others over the months, but these are the ones I've come to have on my iPod. If anyone has any suggestions of Podcasts they enjoy and find informative, please let me know.

-Zoe

Ugh... Headache is still here... Slept on Living Room Floor

Ugh.. Another day of headaches... I had a difficult time getting started this morning... I fell asleep in the living room around 2ish and realized that I fell asleep on the floor when my wife's alarm clock went off this morning at 6am. I went into the bedroom and fell asleep until this morning three hours later where I missed all my morning meetings where people were relying on me.

I had a dream that my friend had a new idea for a semi-conductor chip that was living. It required a special kind of nutmeg nut, some magical water, and some sperm. The person donating the sperm in the shower got it all over me instead of in the formula. I was totally grossed out and almost threw up. People (women) took me into the bath to wash me off but then their female supervisor was coming in. The women screamed, "Tznius! (Modesty!) We'll be caught for sure!" It was at that point that I realized that if I feigned illness, they'll be forgiven and I'll be left alone. So I started pooping into my hand and rubbing it all over the wall. [In the dream, this was an okay thing to do! Yuk!] When the woman walked into the room, I moaned and said that I was sick. She understood and left the room. Then my friends came running in to show me the computer readout that the semiconductor chip was living and that it worked. The capacity for this new kind of chip was years beyond anything out in the market at the time. We were all very excited and repeated the experiment, this time with me not there.

Overall, I still have my headache from a few days ago. I'm not eating, I'm not brushing my teeth, I'm not davening, and I am having a difficult time focusing. I can't even see straight and what I'd really like to do is just to go to sleep, but I'm resisting the urge or else I'll be up all night again.

[I'd like your comments on this -- I can use some advice and feedback as to what you think is going on with me.]

Lastly, because I am unable to study and I am wasting hours playing with the anti-virus computer settings on my computer, I am getting NO studying done for three days now. I don't know what is going on, and why I can't just get with it. Am I getting sick? I feel as if I am going to pop. Does anyone have any advice?