Monday, November 21, 2005

Kashrut in a Non-Kosher Home


My father has been kicking up the level of non-kosher food in the house to the point that I am beginning to get nervous about him using my utensils for his non-kosher foods and not telling me about it.

First it was the old non-kosher plates that began showing up in the house. Then the non-kosher food started showing up in the refrigerator. Then he started cooking non-cholov yisroel but kosher popcorn in the cholov-yisroel milchig microwave. Then he bought a steak with my brother and wanted to cook it in the kosher stove; I stopped him after an argument. Then he bought his own microwave and more non-kosher food has poured into the house to the point that I need to be checking hechures (kosher certification symbols) each time I pick something out of the refrigerator. Then my coffee cups began showing up in my sink without me using them. He promises me that only soy milk was used in them and not the milk he has in the refrigerator which I won't drink.

Most recently, tonight he wanted to use my can opener to open his cans of pork and beans. "What can be non-kosher about them?" he asked. When I told him that a can opener costs seventy-five cents and he could buy one at any store, he got his keys and just walked out of the house into the rain. I think he is going to buy a can opener.

8 comments:

Littleredridinghoodie said...

well maybe you could be a little bit more private about your practice,

or maybe he made a mistake, he probably feels like you are trying to shut him out of his own house, you are a man... this is his kingdom...

maybe you could buy him a can opener as a gift and tell him that you love him and his soul and the souls of his future grandchildren. and if you have to carry the torch all on your own and light it for the next three generations you will, and if he wants to put himself in gehenum that's fine, but he can be sure you will take him out.

Littleredridinghoodie said...

"What can be non-kosher about them?" he asked.

He is asking you, tell him the truth don't send him out the door, tell him exactly what is not kosher about the pork and it's effect on his heart. How it clouds his soul and puts barriers between himself and truth, peace, light, honesty. tell him, why he is special and above that, tell him how you want to elevate him he is your father you need his blessing more than that of a Kohen. When he forgives you (and he does, because he walked out the door and did not put you on the other end of the door) then Hashem forgives you, as we pray "forgive us like a father forgives his son"

Zoe Strickman said...

He ended up buying a can opener.

Rowan said...

Wow, I don't know, but it seems like a power struggle is going on at your place. Maybe he feels that your strict observances aren't his problem? I'm just guessing by the tone of what you've written, that he doesn't feel the same about kosher food as you do (and forgive me because I don't know entirely what that entails) but sounds like since it's his home, he feels you should be living his way, not the other way around. I'm not saying that that is right to do, but it looks that way. Maybe if you calmly spoke with him?

Littleredridinghoodie said...

Wow! He really loves you… or your mother and sees you as her son! Most of the people I know would have told their children that after 6 they have no obligation to take care of them, then go on to what an unappreciative spoiled brat you are and if you don’t like it get out! But, don’t take any of the things they bought you because you don’t deserve it and when you start paying your own bills then maybe you will have a little respect.

Zoe Strickman said...

My mother, as wonderful as she is, has nothing to do with what is going on between me and my dad because they were divorced when I was younger.

My dad respects my kashrut, but doesn't believe in it. Therefore, from the kindness of his heart, he offers me his non-kosher meat and makes me sandwiches and cooks food for me that I don't eat because it is not kosher. He just doesn't take it seriously and forgets too often that I do.

That night that he bought his canopener, he also bought a whole bunch of kosher food for the freezer. I suppose he felt bad that I got annoyed at him for messing with the kashrut of the kitchen. But then last night, he brought home a non-kosher turkey and the only oven in the house is kosher.

Victoria said...

why don't you just move out???

Pragmatician said...

Sounds complicated, couldn’t you sort of divide kitchen space, buy lots of plastic stuff (cups ,cutlery, plates,bowls ,aluminum baking boxes etc...)And each have his corner in the kitchen.