Friday, November 18, 2005

Contemplating Being Modern-Chassidic.

It takes strength to find out who you are, and then it takes even more strength to fight everyone around you who wants you to be someone else, even if their intentions are good.

It's so strange for me that there are such strong forces in my circle of influence.

I've come to some kind of conclusion that I need to be more real about the kind of person I want to marry. I am feeling that it is difficult if not impossible to eliminate something that has been with someone their whole life. Three things that have always been with me are 1) movies, 2) music, and 3) mixed dancing. I am not necessarily attached to these things, but nevertheless, they are in my life and always have been. I am not sure I can enter into a world in which they are non-existent. I am open and enthusiastic about not having them in my house, but I am not so open to not having them in my life.

I must think about this deeper. I will contemplate my words over the coming weeks. Any feedback would be appreciated.

1 comment:

Rowan said...

a marriage will never work whereby you cannot agree on some base things. My minister who presided over my marriage and gave us premarital counselling for over a year prior to our vows to one another, made it very clear that there are some basal things that are so central to your life, that you are in fact unable to change. I found comfort knowing that it is not "difficult" to change these things but in fact "impossible" to change inate characteristics and needs that go back to young childhood. Since performance arts are a passion with you, sin or not, this is a very real part of you, and should you actually succeed in ridding these things, they will never leave your heart, and eventually you will become resentful, angry and upset with life and your wife inadvertantly or not. I think it is best to match yourself with a woman of the same intensity as yourself, the same passion and need for success as yourself, with the same familial values and someone who you can see as a good and kind wife and mother...the rest, I say, come second.