I suppose I should wait a day or so before posting more, but the birth of this new baby has given me a new view of the world. I've worked so hard to fight against all the adversity up until now, but I think I'm going to adopt the "roll with it" mentality where anything goes, and anything that comes my way is within my power to deal with, and if not, no big deal.
Prior to today, I was of the worldview of "we've made XYZ decisions in the direction we want to go in life, and I will get very upset at any force that diverts us from this decided-upon direction."
What this means is that I no longer know for sure that I'll pass the New York bar exam. I studied profusely, but limited to my capabilities due to my surroundings, my responsibilities as a father and as a husband, and my environment. After the Barbri classes in the city ended, I set out a modest plan of the minimum I would need to accomplish to walk into the bar exam prepared. Then when that minimum didn't happen, I made the SEVEN DAY PLAN of essentials (a sort of triage of what I wanted to cover at a minimum due to my limited time constraints) which turned into a FIVE DAY PLAN. Then when I realized that Friday was a half day of studying because of Shabbos, and Shabbos itself was one of the five days, I realized that the plan was really a THREE DAY CRASH COURSE PLAN giving me a minimum competency in the areas in which I needed to cover at a triage-type of bare minimum.
Then last night, our baby girl was born and I was UNABLE TO STUDY AT ALL TODAY, killing 1/3 of my three-day plan. To add to that I need to watch the kids all day tomorrow and run errands such as driving probably an hour to see my wife and to pick up flowers and so on, so my half day of tomorrow is pretty much shot. The hotel canceled my reservation because I didn't check in today, so I no longer have a hotel near the bar exam as I did prior to today, and that hotel does not allow check-ins on Sunday because nobody is there that day -- one of the funky things about those extended-stay hotels that allow you to book a room on a weekly basis rather than a nightly one. So first thing Sunday morning, I'll go online and see if anything is available, and if I can't find anything, I'll drive down and will find a room by eyeballing what is available. It no longer makes sense to pay for a week when there's a new baby and I'd only be able to use the room SUNDAY-WEDNESDAY, four of the seven days I would have paid for. This is just G-d pointing me in the right direction.
In sum, I have SUNDAY to study, and MONDAY to review. Not sure what I can do with that time, but this is what it is. I'll try to do some issue spotting for fun over Shabbos, but I doubt I'll have the chance with our new baby holding my attending and our wonderful two other children who will be needing my love now more than ever.
THUS, I HAVE DECIDED TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE and to roll with whatever comes my way. I will do my best, but I cannot guarantee results other than me promising to do my best with whatever time I have available. Similarly with everything else. I'll roll with it all. No promises that if someone throws punches I won't fire back with a few of my own. ;)