I'm very relieved to be back at home with my two children and our newborn. Just a week or so ago it seemed so difficult to have everything under control because one was crying or climbing on the table while the other one needed to be changed. Now my wife and I have adopted the "zone defense" strategy. If the new baby is asleep, we assist each other with the two (or one takes care of them and the other takes care of chores or housework, etc. I don't mind the housework; I just do as much as I can (which is certainly helpful) and I leave the hard parts for my wife.) *evil grin*. I'm only half kidding.
In my estimation the bar was a success. I explained to my wife last night that I believe that when I left on Sunday or Monday to the hotel (rather than the Thursday of the week before as planned), that I was [in my own estimation] around 53% ready for the exam (assuming that I needed to be at least 65% ready to pass the exam on this scale). Spending those days at the hotel cramming non-stop and being able to study on my own schedule of when I had energy and relaxing when I didn't, I believe I was able to walk into the exam about 70% prepared.
The first time I took the bar in Colorado, I remember reviewing the bar materials before the exam, and it went like this. I asked myself, "do I know this?" and if I did, I just reviewed it quickly. If it was a topic I wasn't prepared for and it would take a while to learn it, I'd just pass it over and hope I didn't get tested on it. In all sincerity, the day before the exam is not the time to be learning new concepts. If I didn't get it by now, I simply wasn't going to learn it and I'd move on.
So again, the first time around when reviewing my materials when I first took the bar and passed, it went something like this, "know this, know this, I know that, I know that... oops, not sure about that... okay, know this, know this, know this..." This was how I went through my materials the day before the exam.
This time around, it went something like this. "Don't know this, um, understand this but can't remember the elements, know this, know this, don't know this, don't know this, don't know this, oh! I remember this! Okay, know this, didn't know this, etc." In other words, I was not nearly as prepared as I was the first time around.
All this being said, I truly believe that the hotel brought me from a place where I likely would have failed to a place where I can confidently believe that I passed. So now in a few months, I'll be a New York attorney.
Now the question is what to do until then... I suppose I'll take a few needed days to rest and to give my wife the needed brake that she needs. I'll be helpful around the house and will help get our systems in order. I will relax a bit and spend some good time with my kids and will establish for myself a daily routine that has been seriously lacking these past few months that will include things such as minyanim (prayer), shiurim (learning sessions), and working out at the gym.
I'm guessing after the few days of doing this will have passed, I'll start looking for a document review position and will send out resumes for jobs to fill the time gap until I get admitted. The goal is simply to survive and to tie up loose ends. I have a few lawsuits to take care of, to defend against, and to file against those who have done things which I've been meaning to sue over these past few months. A few examples include suing my past landlord for still not returning our security deposit now after 10 months, suing General Motors for not giving the $500 rebate they promised me when I bought our car two years ago (the statute of limitations possibly passed on this one), and defending against the most heinous accusation for which every time today when I stomped my feet and booed when Haman's name was mentioned I could think of nobody else except for the person that filed the false complaint against me.
When I was reading the story of Haman, I couldn't think except to picture the person who did this to us, and I tried many times to distract myself from my feelings of hurt, worry, and betrayal over this slimy piece of garbage. I hope Hashem builds a symbolic tree and holds him up on high making him think he's prevailed so that when the truth comes out about what he did, he will share Haman's fate. Y'machshimo on both of their names.