Monday, August 15, 2005

Halachic Decisions During Sex Dreams

I hate making moral decisions, especially when I know I am in a dream and there are no consequences to my actions.

In my dream it was Shabbos afternoon. I was with a girl and the rabbi wanted us to go to a hotel. There would be no yichud (the prohibition of being alone with a woman) because I planned to leave the hotel door slightly open so that anybody can come in at any time. This was going to be a shidduch date, and in the shtus (garbage) of my dream, we were 1) going to a hotel room rather than a hotel lobby, and 2) we were going to hook up. In my heart, I liked this girl and I thought that she could be the girl I would marry.

We were sitting in my car (note that driving is not allowed on the Sabbath) and we were lost. I couldn't find the hotel. I stopped at the rabbi's house to eat a sandwich because I hadn't eaten all day and I wasn't going to eat until after Shabbos. The rabbi was leaning on the passenger seat window and he was telling us how you can pay someone who is not obligated to keep the Sabbath to carry food to the hotel for you so that you can eat. The girl said, "no, we need to go to the hotel right now. Stop eating that sandwich and let's go now!" It was 6:30pm and Shabbos ended at 8:30pm, so not eating for two more hours wasn't a big deal. But it made me sad because I knew in my heart at that point that she wasn't the one I would marry; she was selfish and she wasn't a nice person. While we were still in the car, she got behind me and rubbed her body against mine and massaged my shoulders and tried to convince me to go to the hotel now. I knew what was on her mind.

Even though I knew that we wouldn't work out, she and I had chemistry and I knew that if we went to the hotel, we would certainly hook up. So in my twisted dream-state logic, I left her somewhere and I was going to drive to the hotel and bring some food there and then meet her at the hotel to have our sexual experience. However, while walking through Price Club (I saw a steel swinging chair that one places on a couch for my dad; I also saw an opened large plastic bottle of Powerade that someone had drinken), I realized that on Shabbos you can't carry through a public domain, so there would be no way to get the food I was buying to the hotel.

I took a deep breath and sighed, "Oh well. We're really not supposed to hook up anyway. Maybe I won't even go to the hotel. This is the moral choice."

I woke up and said "Damn!" Why do I always have to choose the moral path in my dreams?!? Can't I have just a little bit of fun? After all, I can't do this sort of activity in real life; I won't. It's not halachically (per Jewish law) allowed. So why not do it in my dream where there are no consequences?? I hate how I am such a moral person, even in my dreams. Can someone explain to me why I keep Jewish laws even in my dreams? This annoys me.


Rowan said...

Don't know, but maybe you are just that moral that it carries on as a struggle even in your dreams. Perhaps that is the point of the dream? I believe (as do many) that dreams are trying to tell you something. I think you are still a very normal man who wants what everyone wants but you still have your conscience to think of. Just goes to show how great you are!

Rowan said...

Incidentally, I too had some crazy dreams this past weekend. I wanted to stay in them forever they were that fantastical!

torontopearl said...

Your heart & mind remain enmeshed in Halacha, whether you want them to or not. They even provide your subconscious with a great big red STOP sign.

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Mirty said...

The dynamic of the dream is that you did not get to the place where someone else thought you should be. In real life, there are times when we feel pushed or pulled into doing things we are not comfortable doing. We have an internal sense of what is right for us and what is not. Maybe the dream is to help you work some of that out.

Hope your next dream is more fun and you at least get to enjoy a good meal. I personally enjoy the dreams where I get to eat chocolate mousse and don't gain any weight. ;)

Anonymous said...

It's just an expression of your sexual frustration.