Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Twin Shidduchim, May I Date the Other?

Update: I have been trying to figure out how to best move forward with this blog. The first thing you'll notice is that many blog entries have been edited. The reason for this is that the last shidduch has found her way onto my site, and I don't want to leave my old thoughts and feelings about past shidduchim sitting on the web for future shidduchim to see. While this is not the end of the world -- everyone gets discovered eventually -- a new shidduch prospect has come up, surprisingly from three shadchanim (matchmakers) at the same time.

She is the cousin of the girl I dated, and they have quite different personalities. They both know about this, and I take no credit nor blame for it happening; it feels like a weird turn of events. Before this new one dates me, she wanted to find out why I would date her cousin who [to my new knowledge] was not religious [she wasn't? was I duped?], and why I would overlook the [serious] problems of the first one and let it go so far (almost to an engagement). In short, it seems that while these two cousins are close, they are competing with each other when it comes to shidduchim.

I feel defensive because in my heart this could be a set up, but nevertheless, it would be quite interesting if G-d had a sense of humor and set me up with the first one to prepare me for the second one who in the end became my wife.


Anonymous said...

And here I thought Zoe was strictly a girl's name. I guess you do learn something new every day.

Anyway, I found my way here from mayimrabim to GoldaLeah via Harry Potter.

And just wanted to comment that a close friend dated and then married a guy I had dated - call it woman's intuition, I *knew* she was going to be asked, and told her to meet him. And my roommate had dated and almost got engaged to my husband before he and I met. (She later dated a different guy I had been set up with.)

So the cousin thing isn't necessarily a 'set-up'. Hatzlacha.

Rowan said...

Just be careful Zoe, stay on your guard in case, but let this develop some more. If this works out, and it's not a set up (which I feel you have a right to be curious about) I will be the happiest blogfriend for you!

Pragmatician said...

It's smart of you to edit, everything you write can be held against you sooner or later.
I read an article that said that those blogging at work should be wary about writing negative stuff about their employer, guess what I quickly did...

Karl said...

Take each one as an individual, but remember that there maybe some under hand stuff going on as well. Religious level is probably the most subjective thing, and changes throughout life, both your own and your perspective of others. Good luck with it.
I have also come to realize, that too much shidduch details on a blog can come back to haunt.

Zoe Strickman said...

I hate the way I think too quickly always thinking "maybe this one will be the one." I've always been let down.

In short, the girl called my [rabbi's] rebbitsen and she asked me to divulge what why I believe the first one wasn't good enough for me. [Keep in mind that it was the girl who broke it off].

I made a short list, but I didn't divulge the girl's secrets that she entrusted me with. I think this was the test; to find out whether I would divulge the secrets I knew about the first one.

The rebbitsen called her back with the answers, and after all this, she told the rebbitsen that she wasn't interested, and that was it. I don't get it. I'm no longer interested in finding out about what was really going on; I feel that at one point these games have become childish. I'm starting to get a bad taste in my mouth from all this underhanded trickery from that girl, and I'm glad the shidduch ended when it did.