Friday, June 03, 2005
I've been trying really hard to break out of this sadness however I cannot get my mind to function clear enough to break through the fog. I am sincerely trying. The more I think about what happened the angrier I get and then I short circuit my anger to stay balanced which drains all the excess energy leaving my body feeling weak. I would so like to harness my anger and use it to do something, but on what would I release it? Instead, I am choosing the weaker route. I'd catch hold of this anger, but I am so tempted to do so that resisting and staying weak keeps me on the right side. I don't believe that there is real power in this anger, and I don't believe that I could control it if I embraced it. It will stay disconnected from me and like a flame that runs out of oxygen, so must it.