Sunday, June 19, 2005
I might defy you stars!
I am feeling resistance towards the thought that the opera path has been closed to me. When it was permitted in my eyes, it was never a problem. Now that it is supposedly forbidden, I am experiencing resistance to the idea of never doing it again.
Resistance according to Chassidus (Jewish mysticism) arises when you've approached the truth. The truth is never easy to come by, and often when you are doing something right, contrary to logic, you will experience resistance.
I am feeling a defiance toward the explanation offered to me, and I have contacted my Rabbi at home to ascertain the full picture of what the leniencies exist within the law of kol isha (law regarding a woman's voice) to find out if there is, in theory, a way for a religious man to pursue this activity.
Keep in mind, I will be an attorney in one year and this seems to be my path according to where the currents of life have brought me. Giving it up for a dream to be an opera singer or to be an actor seems impractical. The application of this law, however has two consequences -- 1) I will not be able to go see an opera with my wife when I get married, and 2) if kol isha applies to operas, it also applies to musicals which I love dearly.
Of course, I know that there is a leniency and a strong opinion that kol isha applies only in person, so recordings and videos are not prohibited. However, it is my secret dream and my secret fantasy that has been trampled on, and this is actually the point I wish to reconcile.