I know that I have always snored since I was a child. However, I must comment that I am thoroughly disgusted by the sound of someone snoring, and when they drool along with the snoring, I want to throw up.
It is such a terrible trait of mine that I am so critical towards people. I believe that any person who does not strive to be his or her personal best is worthless in my eyes. When I see a person who is overweight, or slothful, or lazy, I get this nasty nauseas feeling in the pit of my stomach and I want to vomit from the disgust I feel.
I must comment that I hold myself to even higher standards than I hold other people to. I am far from close to being considered at my best, but if there were a range of activity where one could measure oneself as being unproductive or as being productive, I would measure myself as pretty high up on the productive side. I say this with the self-inflated thought that I am at this level even with the mood swings and the fuzziness that overcomes me every few days or every few weeks where for a few hours at a time I turn into a space cadet.
Even further, I must confess that even though I have my headphones on as high as they will go blasting music from the Matrix, I still feel my roommate’s low-pitched vibrato snoring in the center of my chest and it bothers me just as much as would a high frequency-pitched radiation that would come from a television. If I don’t pass out from the experience, I will finish these blogs as quickly as I can and I will leave the room because I cannot stay here much longer or else I will go insane.
3 comments:
I too had always been in disgust of others that didn't apply themselves towards perfection, whether they were anywhere near there or not. Once I started having my hormonal problems, I gained rapid weight, 60 lbs in 2 weeks, and qucker than I thought possible, I got over some of my hangups. I still have many, don't get me wrong, and I still seek perfection in myself (unfortunately) but rather than try so hard to win a losing battle, I've come to accept my outwardly appearance (which isn't as horrid as I make out). I have kids and a husband who love me, and other than that, why should I worry? Although, sometimes it does hurt me to know that once I was beautiful and now I'm washed up, but at least I have memories of when I was uber-pretty.
Everyone's body changes through time; it's a natural progression. However, I am reading some of the posts on your site, and the word that should be equivalent to the plague is complacentcy, however it is spelled. Stopping anywhere in your growth or deciding not to deal with something is quitting, no? I know that trying is a loud way of not doing something. I've been personally trying to shead some extra weight for some months now. One of these days soon I will actually stop trying and I will actually drop them.
I know what you're saying, I've lost weight before, 40 lbs. actually, and all it took was shovelling money to a clinic, but it worked and that's the main thing and it forced me to stay focused on myself instead of giving up on myself. I hope to rejoin, but my husband hates the money it costs: 54.00/week plus 74.00 every 2 weeks, but at the last month of it, I was losing about 5-7 lbs. a week. It was slow starting, but it was melting off me by the end.
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